Ben Affleck is back on the scene post rehab, so you know what that means: back to innocuous interviews with other celebrities and hosts where you talk about non-essential bullshit while promoting a project! Yay! Ben stopped by Ellen and they talked all about his sobriety and, more importantly, that back tattoo that looks like a Meat Loaf album cover barfed all over him.
We all learned about that heinous back tattoo when he was photographed during a day on the beach while filming his new movie Triple Frontier, which is out on Netflix. Ben called it a “meaningful” tattoo which “represents something really important to me.” A man rising from his mid-life crisis? How meta. Ben says:
“I like it… It’s something I sort of kept private. It wasn’t like I was sort of doing photo shoots or whatever. We were two hours north of the city on some island in Hawaii and we didn’t know paparazzi was there. So they got a picture of my tattoo and yeah the sentiment ran, you know, against… I was like, I love my tattoo. I’m very happy with it… Luckily I’m the one who has it.”
Yeah, lucky for us! Can you imagine waking up in the morning and suddenly you’re the cracked-out, dime-store version of Girl With The Dragon Tattoo who can’t even hack a computer? No thanks. Ben also talked about finally being out of rehab, saying he’s “in such a great place” and is doing well:
“You know, it’s interesting. It’s like there’s temptation to get… depressed. I could feel like, oh I’ve been through a lot and this was hard and that was hard or I could be kind of embarrassed. But, I have to say, I feel so good now… I’m in such a great place. Kids are healthy. You know, life is good. And so it’s like whatever it took for me to get to this place, you know, I’m grateful for it.”
Whatever it took to get you here? You mean Jennifer fucking Garner? Ben also let Ellen know that he’s just a regular dude who does things like film movies and coaches his son’s little league:
“Yeah I’m a coach on the little league team. It’s going great. He’s awesome. It’s a lot of fun. The kids are great kids… It’s like one of those things, you love it so much. It’s like the dad dream… to be the coach, to coach your son or your daughter on their little league team. It’s very exciting. People have been very cool.”
It’s a dad dream to coach little league? …I am clearly not meant to be a father. Coaching 15-20 little shits who aren’t even biologically mine or legally under my guardianship and getting yelled at by over-bearing parents during my free time? Sounds like hell. I’d rather get a phoenix back tattoo.
Pic: Warner Bros.