Petty, Thy Name Is Billionaire Harry Macklowe

March 8, 2019 / Posted by:

When us regular bitches want to get revenge on an ex, we have to do time-consuming shit like wait until they’ve watched the second to the last episode of House of Cards before canceling the Netflix account of ours they still use. Or replace their fapping lotion of choice with extra-strengh Nair. But when a moneybags bitch wants to get revenge on an ex, he just has to command one of his assistants to get a humongous picture of him and new piece plastered onto the almost-home of his ex . That’s exactly what billionaire developer Harry Macklowe did. Harry splattered a picture of him with his fiancee on a Park Avenue building that his ex was trying to live in. Sure, that’s level 8 petty, but Harry could’ve gone to level 10 petty by splattering a picture of him and his fiancee onto a building across from where his ex lives. Although, that would’ve done wonders for his ex’s bowels since she would’ve been inspired to drop a turd every time she stared at his giant face.

82-year-old Harry Macklowe and his wife of 58 years and the mother of his two children, Linda Macklowe (seen above with Harry), started their divorce showdown in 2016 after she found out that he was keeping his French side trick, 60-something-year-old Patricia Landeau, in one of his properties. Page Six says that Harry and Linda didn’t have a prenup, so they fought over all kinds of billionaire crap like their East Hamptons home, their $700 million art collection, and two adjoining apartments at 432 Park Ave, the tallest residential building in the Western Hemisphere. That’s the same building that Harry and Patricia’s humongous faces currently terrorize. Both Harry and Linda wanted to live in the building and they both busted out some War of the Roses-style antics during their divorce fight.

In court, Linda’s lawyer accused Harry of “dirty tricks” — saying he’d tried to break through a wall and annex a third of her unit to increase the size of the space he intended to share with Landeau.

Harry’s side, in turn, accused Linda’s side of using her interest in the property “as a kind of a weapon” in the divorce.

Linda ended up walking away from the building, but she also walked away with reportedly half of Harry’s $2 billion fortune. Linda’s now slumming it in a $72 million condo at The Plaza.

Harry and his future ex-wife Patricia got married yesterday, and a few days before, a giant portrait of them was slathered onto 432 Park Avenue. Their reception was also on the 78th floor of that building. They plan to live there. Harry burped this up about that act of pettiness:

“Our smiling faces will be on a building that I built — and I am proud of my wife, my life, my friends and colleagues. It gives me a great thrill to share this moment of joy and happiness.”

This is what that Photoshopped-to-a-new-dimension-and-back portrait looks like. Property values are probably going to plummet thanks to this!

I bet Patricia wasn’t smiling like she is in that portrait when she had to prick her finger to sign her name in blood on the prenup that guarantees she can’t get half like Linda did. And I’m sure as Harry and Patricia got married, Linda cried tears onto the cum gutters of her new boy toy. Tears of happiness, of course, since she got paid and doesn’t have to be married to Harry Macklowe anymore. Shit, Linda should get a giant banner of her crying happy tears onto her boy toy’s cum gutters splattered onto the building across from 432 Park. No, that’s a waste of her millions. She should just save that picture to use as a condolence card to send to Harry when Patricia files for divorce because she walked in on his side trick gargling on his 82-year-old huevos.

Pic: Getty

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