Hot Slut Of The Day!
The last Blockbuster standing in the world!
The slow demise of Blockbuster started in the early-aughts when a young, ambitious, thirsty bitch named Netflix came onto the scene with its mind-blowing brand new DVD-in-the-mail trick. Us lazy bitches who got tired of peeling our worn-out carcasses off of the couch to put on our slippers so we could drive all the way to Blockbuster to avoid getting ass fucked dry with late fees suddenly turned our backs on Blockbuster and fell in love with the new shiny hot trick that is Netflix. That was the beginning of the end, and Blockbuster tried the DVD-in-the-mail thing too, but it was too late. Then streaming services came along and that was a perfect name for them. Because they pissed out a piss stream on the future grave site of Blockbuster, getting that dirt nice, wet and ready for the digging.
Blockbuster filed for bankruptcy in 2010, and was later bought by Dish Network. At its peak Blockbuster had 9,000 locations. Dish closed all of Blockbuster’s corporate-owned stores in 2014, and only a handful of franchise-owned stores remained. But those stores began to close up, and last summer, there was only one left in all of the United States. That location in Bend, Oregon will soon be the last Blockbuster on earth, because the second Blockbuster, which is in Perth, Australia is going to shut down at the end of the month.
The Oregonian says that Sandi Harding, the general manager of the Bend Blockbuster, got a call on Monday from an Australian radio station who slow clapped for her Blockbuster being the last one alive on this planet and winning the plastic case Hunger Games. The Bend Blockbuster was a local video store before its owners turned it into a Blockbuster in 2000. It’s got three years left on its lease and Sandi doesn’t think they’re going anywhere. Memberships are up 10 percent from people wanting a Blockbuster card, and because they’re currently one of the only Blockbusters left, tourists from around the world visit them. Tourists don’t rent shit, but they do buy t-shirts and other merchandise.
The Bend Blockbuster also has a mini Russell Crowe museum thanks to John Oliver. John bought a bunch of memorabilia from Russell Crowe’s divorce auction, including a jockstrap from Cinderella Man. John donated the collection to a Blockbuster in Anchorage to save it. When that Blockbuster closed, the collection went to the Bend Blockbuster, but John, being the kinky bitch that he is, kept the jockstrap.
May that Bend Blockbuster live forever, because not only is it an important museum of history (and I’m not talking about its Russell Crowe collection, I’m talking about its collection of those plastic cases), it also holds the memories of us begging our parents to drop the returned movie into that metal drop box to nowhere and annoyingly hovering over the employee handling returns to see if the movie if we wanted came in. When Netflix crumbles from the weight of its 10 billion original shows and Hulu closes up after The Handmaid’s Tale ends, the last Blockbuster will gladly take us back even though we did it wrong by leaving it for those streaming whores.
Pic: Google