Well she’s done it. Kylie Jenner’s pulled herself up by her Balenciaga boot straps and made a name for herself as the “Youngest Self-Made Billionaire” in the world. Back in July, Forbes correctly predicted that one day in the not-so-distant future, a woman grossly disfigured by radiation poisoning and malnutrition, would be roaming the wasted landscape of post-apocalypse Los Angeles and find among the rubble and detritus of a once (barely) functioning society, a copy of Forbes Magazine dated March 5th, 2019 with Kylie’s improbably smooth face staring back at her under the title World’s Youngest Self-Made Billionaire, and though a strangled “who?” will escape her parched and blistered lips, she will know that this relic marked the beginning of the end.
According to Forbes:
Forbes estimates Jenner’s company is worth at least $900 million. She owns all of it. Add in the cash Jenner has already pulled from the profitable business, and the 21-year-old is now a billionaire, with an estimated fortune of $1 billion. She’s the youngest-ever self-made billionaire, reaching a ten-figure fortune at a younger age than even Mark Zuckerberg (who was 23 when he hit that mark).
Kylie’s fortune is largely derived from Kylie Cosmetics’ exclusive distribution deal with Ulta Beauty. A deal I’m sure she had no help whatsoever in making. Kylie probably strutted into that meeting wearing sunglasses and a Working Girl blazer with oversized shoulder pads, and confidently slapped her Trapper Keeper down on the conference room table, stunning the assembled executives by shouting loudly “Meeting adjourned!” only to have Kris Jenner quietly pull her side and tell her the meeting actually ended 20 minutes ago, she just has to sign. The only actual work Kylie has to do is maintain her social media following, which, thank God for filters, right?
The beauty of Kylie Cosmetics, which Jenner started in 2015, is its minuscule overhead—and the outsize profits that go straight into Jenner’s pocket. Her empire consists of just seven full-time and five part-time employees. Manufacturing and packaging is outsourced to Seed Beauty, a private-label producer in nearby Oxnard, California. Sales and fulfillment are handled by online merchant Shopify. Her shrewd mother, Kris, takes care of finance and PR in exchange for the 10% management fee she siphons from all of her kids. Marketing is done mostly through social media, where Jenner has a massive following. She announces product launches, previews new items and announces the Kylie Cosmetics shades she’s wearing directly to the 175 million-plus who follow her across Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.
Kylie’s landmark designation should be an inspiration to poor people everywhere. If Kylie can go from drooling all over Blac Chyna’s sloppy seconds as the third most useless Kardashian, to global mogal in the span of just a few short years, then what the fuck is your excuse?