Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 4, 2019 / Posted by:

Stormy Daniels’ pussy has been in the mainstream spotlight for a while thanks to Jabba the Hutt’s charbroiled crimini mushroom dick terrorizing it. But this story is about an actual pussy named Stormy, who is currently facing an INJUSTICE in Alaska.

It’s been a bad time for bodega cats. First one was heartlessly snatched from a Bronx deli (thankfully that bodega cat was returned to its kingdom), and now one in Alaska is being evicted for violating food safety standards. This isn’t right. I mean, the Palin family has been infecting the state of Alaska with their stupidity and trashiness for years, and yet they’re still allowed to live there. But yet, Stormy is only guilty of infecting a store with cuteness and she’s getting put on the curb!

Homer News (which sadly isn’t a Homer Simpson newsletter) says that Stormy has been the mascat of Fritz Creek General Store in Homer, Alaska since 2012. Stormy has been spending her days ruling over that store, but those days are done. Some rat ratted her out! And I mean that literally, because you know the rats of Homer narc’d on a bitch because they were sick of Stormy chasing them away whenever they tried to steal some food. The owners of Fritz Creek General Store got told by the Alaska Department Of Environmental Conservation’s Food Safety And Sanitation Program to dump the pussy, or else!

Fritz Creek General Store is owned and operated by Sean Maryott and Diana Carbonell. The Alaska DEC’s Food Safety and Sanitation Program gave the owners notice that having Stormy in the store violates the state’s food safety code.

“We did receive a complaint (about the cat),” said Jeremy Ayers, section manager for the DEC’s Food Safety and Sanitation Program.

Many thought that the DEC’s decision belongs in a litter box, because Mayor Stubbs, the mayor-in-name-only puss of Talkeetna regularly held court at a general store and a restaurant. Jeremy Ayers answered to that by saying that Talkeetna is not in his jurisdiction, but he knows that the owners of the general store and restaurant were told that Mayor Stubbs wasn’t allowed in there.

Stormy will now live with the relatives of the owners of Fritz’s. Stormy has been through it. She was a shelter cat who was given to Fritz’s store by a woman who adopted her but later learned it wasn’t a fit when Stormy dominated her other cats. DUH! Stormy is thee queen!

Great, so now that Stormy isn’t protecting Fritz’s anymore, the rats will take it over, which will lead to the rats taking over Homer, which will lead to the rats taking over Alaska (“One did rule the state from 2006 to 2008” – you), which will lead to the rats taking over THE WORLD. Meanwhile, Stormy will be sitting back like, “Bitches, I told you so.

Pic: Facebook

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