Khloé Kardashian Walked Back On Blaming Jordyn Woods For Breaking Her Family Up
The first thing Kris Jenner teaches her spawn (besides “The face you were born with is just a rough draft, sweetie.”) is “ALWAYS keep them sympathetic to your plight”. So, when the public turns on a Kardashian, the Kardashian knows it’s time to course-correct. This is probably why professional wronged party Khloé Kardashian is now tweeting that it’s her swinging dick babydaddy ex Tristan Thompson’s fault that their family broke up not chaste kisser Jordyn Woods.
Jordyn recently sat at Yoda for the millennials (AKA) Jada Pinkett-Smith’s magic red table) and wept with regret over kissing Khloé’s man Tristan. This didn’t ease Khloé’s pique over her sister’s Kylie Jenner’s best friend Jordyn letting Khloé’s bf bid her adieu with his mouth. And as so often happens in reality TV, the woman gets blamed for the whole thing. It takes TWO to create a new storyline for Keeping Up with the Kardashians tango, Khloé! Khlo blamed Jordyn for lying and being the reason why her family is broken up.
“And yes, Tristan put his lips on yours but, but, he put a baby in me so you’re worse! Maybe if YOU had knocked me up, Jordyn, this tale would be told differently!” – Khloé.
Khloé probably thought her legions of fans (those 88.3 Instagram followers can’t ALL be bought-and-paid for, can they?) would be running up the mountain with torches to burn wicked lips witch Jordyn’s castle to the ground. But, as evidenced by the reaction round-up via Elite Daily, Khloé was thought to be ridiculous for blaming one woman’s mouth for the dissolution of her family.
Sensing sympathy for her pain was ebbing, Khloé handed baby True to her noon-to-3pm nanny and got back on her phone (via People).
This has been an awful week & I know everyone is sick of hearing about it all (as am I). I’m a rollercoaster of emotions & have said things I shouldn’t have. Honestly, Tristan cheating on me & humiliating me, wasn’t such a shock as the first time.
— Khloé (@khloekardashian) March 2, 2019
Khloé also had an epiphany that Jordyn wasn’t the reason her already tenuous relationship with her NBA player is now in tatters. (She obviously still blames her totally but what if her fans stopped buying whatever laxative she’s hawking on IG this week?)
What’s been harder & more painful is being hurt by someone so close to me. Someone whom I love & treat like a little sister. But Jordyn is not to be blamed for the breakup of my family. This was Tristan’s fault.
— Khloé (@khloekardashian) March 2, 2019
And this person pretty much wrote this story in one tweet but I get paid by the word (I don’t but pretend I do for this joke):
Had to recollect your thoughts after twitter got in that A$$. Go drag your man sis. He’s the problem pic.twitter.com/cLwFIwIeUZ
— Drebae ? (@Drebae_) March 2, 2019
Khloé concluded her scales-falling-from-her probably blepharoplasty-ed eyes moment with the revelation that maybe her kid is more important than twitter fights and crying for the camera.
“I have to move on with my life & count my blessings, my family, my health, & my beautiful baby True,” she wrote.
To seal the deal, the newly most single Kardashian unfollowed Tristan on Instagram. That’s the social media equivalent of throwing all of his shit out the window on to the lawn so they’re really over. Shame. When does production start on E!’s Khloé On Her Own? And E!’s Jordyn: Evicted By Fame? And E!’s Ladies Love Tristan Thompson?
Pic: Instagram