The plot thickens! Speaking of thickening, let’s talk pecs. Specifically, let’s talk the pecs that seemingly up shit’s creek (and not the good one) Empire actor Jussie Smollett reportedly wanted to develop for an upcoming music video. TMZ and Page Six are both reporting that, contrary to what the Chicago PD has stated, there’s evidence that the reported $3,500 check Jussie Smollett wrote for Ola and Abel Osundairo was to help him grow those thick titties and not to stage a hate crime on him.
Sources (ok, probably Jussie or a defense lawyer or two) say that Jussie wanted to get in shape for a video shoot and approached The Brothers Osundairo to train him and they put him on a 5-week nutrition plan. Allegedly, a set amount of money for their expertise wasn’t initially agreed upon, but Jussie later wrote them the infamous $3,500 check. That check supposedly read “5 week Nutrition/Workout program (Don’t Go)” in the memo line. (“Don’t Go” is the song for which Jussie was shooting that video.)
Our sources say Ola and Abel told the grand jury they were paid for the 5-week program and not for the “attack.” One source connected with the brothers did say Ola and Abel felt the amount was “a little high” but no one ever specifically said anything about any of the money being part of a scheme.
In addition, there are texts between Jussie and Abel (whose real first name is “Abimbola” but Jussie calls him “Bon”, *shrug*) that support the “I’m paying you to train me not fake beat me up so I can get a bigger check from Lee Daniels” story.
Other evidence weighing in Smollett’s favor are a series of texts been him and “Bon” beginning on Jan. 20, which outlined a healthy meal plan including chicken thigh, Starkist tuna, eggs and Smucker’s peanut butter and various fruit.
“This is the meal plan and the breakdown of macronutrients. Also includes projected fat loss,” Abimbola texted Smollett.
There was also another seemingly innocuous, fitness-related text on the day of the…are we calling it “incident” now?
Another one, dated Jan. 28 — hours before the attack, the gym buff wrote to Smollett, “I know you’re traveling today, make sure you get at least 45 mins of cardio.”
The $3,500 total check accounted for $600-a-week for five weeks of the workout plan and $100-a-week for the food plan, also for five weeks, sources told TMZ.
Both of the brothers have testified before the grand jury that the check was for training, not for greedy dumbass actor-inspired fuckery inadvertently helping MAGA-types to look like victims of insane liberal socialists.
Jussie was charged with “felony disorderly conduct for allegedly filing a false police report” and could face up to three years in prison. He’s currently out of the chokey after paying 10% of his $100,000 bond.
In a lighter vein, that “Don’t Go” that was supposedly written on the check? Before learning it was a song title, I thought that it was an amusing bit of jokey evidence that Jussie hates the gym as much as the rest of us thinking people who prefer their couches to elliptical machines and sweaty butt cheeks. No such luck.