A psychedelic Pterodactyl took a dump on Kanye West’s head. But he had to be in the right place at the right time for that to have happened, and I think we all know who pushed him under that bird. When there’s trouble brewing at the Koven HQ, the Koven gets to work. Nothing begets attention like more attention, maybe that’s why in the wake of the news of Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson’s marriage imploding, Kanye’s out here frowning for the paps, sporting a faddish new do. While the new hair could be attributed to spontaneous opportunism, Kanye’s daughter North West’s first magazine cover and spread could have been planned in advance to coincide with Tristian’s infidelity storyline.
Kanye’s single-scoop of rainbow sherbet on a sugar cone look (which incidentally was my go-to order at age 8) is sloppy. Maybe because his hair is too short to pull it off properly. It looks like a fungus he picked up at a slumber party at Bella Thorne’s house is thriving on his head.
You like Kanye new hair?? pic.twitter.com/iYsPnYJkzC
— No Jumper (@nojumper) February 21, 2019
And of course, it’s derivative.
— Mascara Tears (@rosecolored_joy) February 22, 2019
But maybe also a tribute?
Everybody's overlooking the fact that Kanye's hair is clearly a tribute to Gucci pic.twitter.com/MijgkiPzt1
— jesse 🚀 (@jesse13james) February 22, 2019
Who fucking knows or cares. Call me when he grows it out and puts it in braids like Tekashi 6ix9ine. He may be a reprehensible felon, but at least he knows how to really commit to a look. Kanye’s current hair situation is as ephemeral and transient as his “good days” are.
A far cuter publicity stunt is North West on the cover of Women’s Wear Daily (superficially at least, it’s philosophically more disturbing). NW nabbed her first ever solo cover for WWD’s annual “Beauty Inc.” issue. I honestly didn’t know WWD even existed anymore. I thought it died out with the molded jello salad fad of the 1960s. In the issue, NW is being heralded part of “the next generation of beauty influencers: toddlers”. I told you this shit was disturbing. Good thing she’s a supremely cute kid, and looks like she had a great time playing dress up.
According to Harper’s Bazaar:
In the WWD photo shoot, West wears an electric pink eye look by Kardashian go-to makeup artist Mary Phillips (who did a similar look on Kendall Jenner earlier this month). West’s curly hair is pulled into sleek pigtails by her mom’s hairstylist Chris Appleton. Kardashian West has previously said that she allows her daughter to experiment with makeup, but doesn’t want her wearing lashes or dark lipstick just yet.
Oh, I think we all know the real reason NW isn’t allowed anywhere near fake eyelashes!!!!