Today is a sad day for justice, and I’m not talking about “Orange Justice” (that is a Fortnite joke for those of you who try to stay out of such matters). I’m talking about the American legal system once again FAILING one of it’s citizens in another crack in the clear and obvious fault in a system that seeks to continually destroy the oppressed. Today, Alfonso Ribeiro is the victim of this system, because the The U.S. Copyright Office have stamped “DENIED” on his request to copyright his totally original pillar stone of modern society, the “Carlton Dance.”
Back in December, Alfonso filed a lawsuit against the video game company Epic Games, accusing them of stealing his funky dance moves from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and using them in Fortnite in a dance move called… wait for it… “Fresh“. Wow. You’d assume that’d be one point in Alfonso’s favor. But HuffPo says, so far, not so good. To go along with his case, Alfonso tried to copyright the dance, but Saskia Florence (the hottest name in the U.S. Copyright Office, I’m assuming), who handled this case, told Alfonso’s lawyer that his request was denied because his killer moves were just a “simple dance routine.” OUCH! She went on to say:
“The dancer sways their hips as they step from side to side, while swinging their arms in an exaggerated manner.
“In the second dance step, the dancer takes two steps to each side while opening and closing their legs and their arms in unison.
“In the final step, the dancer’s feet are still and they lower one hand from above their head to the middle of their chest while fluttering their fingers.
“The combination of these three dance steps is a simple routine that is not registrable as a choreographic work.”
I can follow theses steps that about as clearly as I could follow the last State Of The Union address, but clearly Saskia studied the “Carlton Dance” and “Fresh” thoroughly and is confident in her outcome. That must’ve been her best day in the office to date.
Alfonso’s lawyers, Pierce Bainbridge Beck Price & Hecht LLP, are also representing 2 Milly and Backpack Kid who are also suing Fortnite for stealing their moves.
I view this as a clear and vicious attack by anti-Carlton-ites implanted within the U.S. Copyright Office, who despite the Government Shutdown and most government agencies moving at a half-salted slug’s pace to get shit done, took no time at all to say “nope” to Alfonso’s copyright request. I ask the American people to judge this case by GIF, because that’s pretty much where America is headed, right?
Exhibit 1: “The Carlton Dance”
Exhibit 2: “Fresh”
However, for the sake of that last minute witness drama that all great court TV shows are made of, I bring you surprise Exhibit 3! Courteney Cox and Bruce Springsteen in the Dancing In The Dark video:
That’s the true birthplace of the “Fresh“, “Carlton Dance” and every other music video from the 1980s. Get that Fortnite money, Courteney and Bruce!