Night Crumbs

Tom Sturridge and Jake Gyllenhaal posed together at the opening of their play Sea Wall/A Life at The Public Theater in NYC. And as they did that, someone’s Aunt Maureen tore threw her closet looking for her favorite Valentine’s Day sweater to wear to craft club and a mid-level pimp lost it while trying to find the suit he wanted to wear to take his mom to church – Lainey Gossip

Someone call CPS and let them know that Ben Affleck is terrorizing his poor son with the face of Tom Brady – Celebitchy

Whatever, how can I care about Ben Affleck retiring his Batsuit as my nipples are hardening over the sight of Guillermo in Robin drag? – Pajiba

Well, there you go, we now know that something called “the truth” doesn’t exist anymore, because pillar of 100% truthiness, Kim Zolciak, was caught in a lie – Reality Tea

Excuse me while I shake with anxiety over the fact that we may not have gotten to see Chris Hemsworth’s muscled-up nipples as Thor – SOW

The NFL and Colin Kaepernick have settled and both claim they’re going to keep their clips shut about the details – Towleroad

“Shit, I totally have bed bugs and fleas now” – that bear – Hollywood Tuna

“Hello, welcome to the Goth Go-Go Dancer Cafe, I’m Olivia Munn, and I’ll show you to our table” – Popoholic

Sure, people give Dane Cook shit for his fetus-aged girlfriend, but she probably gives him more shit for constantly spending more time with Botox than her – Just Jared

Pic: Wenn.com