Jeff Bezos Is Accusing The National Enquirer Of Trying To Blackmail Him With Dick Pics

February 8, 2019 / Posted by:

Amazon super billionaire Jeff Bezos, who was asking how the National Enquirer got hold of his nudes the other day, has now taken things ten steps further and accused the Enquirer and parent company, American Media Inc., of extortion. And honey, before you think they can claim “defamation” Jeff has plenty of receipts and gets bold. Are you ready for the dick-measuring battle of Pecker (the one on Jeff Bezos’ crotch) v. Pecker (the one who owns the Enquirer)?

Jeff put up a lengthy post on Medium titled: “No Thank You Mr. Pecker” referencing AMI’s owner, David Pecker. In the post he details how AMI has had it out for him because Jeff and Mr. Pecker’s bestie, Donald Trump, hate each other. This has led to a blood feud between the two, and now The National Enquirer is doing the most to get at Jeff: namely trying to get him to lay-off investigating them in exchange for dick pic secrecy.

So here’s the story from A to Z: Jeff owns the Washington Post which is investigating AMI and their political motivations because they’ve been accused of pulling some “catch and kill” shit for Trump, meaning they run or don’t run stories for the purpose of self-benefit. Which is SHOCKING to hear about a publication with titles such as: Supreme Court Justice Scalia — Murdered By A Hooker” and EXCLUSIVE: HILLARY CLINTON LESBIAN LOVERS NAMED IN SECRET EMAILS“. AMI wanted Jeff to make a statement saying that there is nothing out of the ordinary at AMI and they’re totally cool. Specifically, they wanted him saying that his people:

“…have no knowledge or basis for suggesting that AMI’s coverage was politically motivated or influenced by political forces.”

Dylan Howard, the Chief Content Officer of AMI, sent Jeff an email which subject line should have read: “Dick Pic Blackmail” detailing all the sexy pics he has of Jeff and his new girlfriend Lauren Sanchez, saying:

“However, in the interests of expediating this situation, and with The Washington Post poised to publish unsubstantiated rumors of The National Enquireris initial report, I wanted to describe to you the photos obtained during our newsgathering.

In addition to the “below the belt selfie — otherwise colloquially known as a ‘d*ck pick'” — The Enquirer obtained a further nine images. These include:

· Mr. Bezos face selfie at what appears to be a business meeting.

· Ms. Sanchez response — a photograph of her smoking a cigar in what appears to be a simulated oral sex scene.

· A shirtless Mr. Bezos holding his phone in his left hand — while wearing his wedding ring. He’s wearing either tight black cargo pants or shorts — and his semi-erect manhood is penetrating the zipper of said garment.

· A full-length body selfie of Mr. Bezos wearing just a pair of tight black boxer-briefs or trunks, with his phone in his left hand — while wearing his wedding ring.

· A selfie of Mr. Bezos fully clothed.

· A full-length scantily-clad body shot with short trunks.

· A naked selfie in a bathroom — while wearing his wedding ring. Mr. Bezos is wearing nothing but a white towel — and the top of his pubic region can be seen.

· Ms. Sanchez wearing a plunging red neckline dress revealing her cleavage and a glimpse of her nether region.

· Ms. Sanchez wearing a two-piece red bikini with gold detail dress revealing her cleavage.

It would give no editor pleasure to send this email. I hope common sense can prevail — and quickly.

Dylan.”

He called collecting dick pics “newsgathering”. Same, AMI; I’m also a newsgatherer.

This reeked of blackmail to everyone looking at it, and Jeff didn’t take it well. Nor did he take the several other follow-up blackmail emails he received from Dylan and Jon Fine, the Deputy General Counsel of AMI; posting all of the receipts up on his blog post for the world to see.

Jeff isn’t playing and hired an investigator Gavin de Becker (THESE NAMES!) to spare no expense in investigating this for him. Jeff also mentions Jamal Khashoggi, the murdered Saudi journalist who was a columnist for The Post, and writes that Pecker didn’t like The Post’s coverage of the murder because he was trying to make business deals in Saudi Arabia. On top of AMI’s arrangement with Trump, they also have an arrangement with the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

AMI, the owner of the National Enquirer, led by David Pecker, recently entered into an immunity deal with the Department of Justice related to their role in the so-called “Catch and Kill” process on behalf of President Trump and his election campaign. Mr. Pecker and his company have also been investigated for various actions they’ve taken on behalf of the Saudi Government.

This is crazy on several levels and is a pickle. For AMI, I mean, not really for Jeff. Jeff only needs to worry about that divorce and maybe losing half of all his money. Blackmail is an actual crime, whereas a dick pic won’t sink the richest man in the world Not in 2019.

And in Jeff’s takedown of AMI, he uses the word “complexifier” a couple of times, which made everyone run to Dictionary.com. So when the movie version of this saga inevitably gets made, you should bet all your dick pics that it’ll be called  The Complexifier, which is also probably Jeff’s nickname for his dick.

Pic: Instagram

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