It’s escalated from puppy love and meeting with the president of Ghana to aggressively bumping uglies between Liam Payne and Naomi Campbell. Guess he has a type because, if you can believe a British tabloid, Liam is having “mind-blowing” sex with (ANOTHER) older woman. Somehow, I believe it’s mind-blowing because Naomi screams at him about proper positioning the whole time so she walks away pleased and he just whimpers in a corner.
The Sun says Liam and Naomi have been secretly canoodling for two months and may even be on the cusp of going public. I say he has a type, because his last girlfriend, and the mother of his child, Cheryl Tweedy Cole Fernandez-Versini is 10 years older than him. Naomi is 23 years older AND presumably she comes as a package deal with Kate Moss. Not in a sexual way…more like, Kate sulks in the corner smoking a cigg and watches. Speaking of smoke, there’s fire in the Laomi loins because snitches galore want everyone to know they’re having hot sex and Liam can’t believe his luck.
“They are definitely an item and have been seeing a lot of each other. Liam thinks she’s amazing and beautiful, and has said their intimate time together has been mind-blowing. He seems really into her and acting like he can’t believe his luck. I had seen some internet rumours but I was astounded when I found out it was a proper relationship. He obviously likes a beautiful older woman.”
After saying that, Naomi then collected a $16,000 Venmo payment from the Sun and went shopping. I’m kidding-ish. The calvary of “sources” used to tell this horny tale talk about how Naomi and Liam have met up to bone in London and New York, but his friends are worried she’ll eat him alive.
Liam has been raving to friends about how good the sex is and how Naomi is setting him up with model connections (what a safe back-up career!) at places like Hugo Boss. Others say Naomi just views him as a plaything because he’s “head over heels” and she just gets what she wants before moving on. Well, that, and because it takes more than the One Direction pension to keep a woman like her in the life of luxury and model-dragging to which she’s grown accustomed!