Pictured: The FML face of a poodle who is thinking, “First these messes tease my hair until it looks like the engorged ballsack of a snowman and then they dip my own ballsack in glitter?”
I don’t know why humans need to be told this, but apparently some humans do. If dogs wanted their nutsacks to look like their nuts got slobbered on by a unicorn during some teabagging fun, they’d find a unicorn to slobber on their nuts during some teabagging fun. But one groomer thought it would be hilarious to do her poodle’s crotch huevos up like Christmas ornaments (see above: her poodle thinking it’s hilarious that she did his crotch hueovs up like Christmas ornaments).
Last week, this post of the sparkly dog nuts made the rounds, to which made God say, “Took them long enough to get to the point where they’re so bored that they’re glittering dog nuts.”
Twitter called the glittery dog nuts “a trend,” but the groomer behind this, Jordan Burns of Louisville, KY tells People that it’s not a trend, no poodle was harmed in the making of those sparkly balls, and it was just a breeder joke!
“I actually didn’t do it for the grooming community. It was a joke between other breeders. We get a lot of backlash for having intact dogs and someone made a joke that we should start glittering our dogs’ balls to make them even more noticeable. So I thought a pet expo would be a great way to jokingly test that out.”
My dog is definitely laughing, and laughing because I can’t even think of taking corn syrup and cake glitter to his balls since he has no balls! And then he’ll cry after remembering he has no balls. But really, this is absolutely a mess. With that being said, I’m about to order some corn syrup and rainbow cake glitter for myself on Amazon for my Pride Party look.