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January 31, 2019 / Posted by:

KFC’s scam ass Cheeetos Chicken Sandwich!

It took them over two years to do their own version of Taco Bell’s Cheetos Quesadilla, but Taco Bell’s brother in fast food foolery KFC finally butt-burped out the Cheetos Chicken Sandwich. I shouldn’t be asshole-y about them taking two years, because they obviously hired several acclaimed Michelin-starred chefs to spend hundreds of hours in the kitchen coming up with a technically advanced gourmet dish that involves throwing a fried chicken patty, some Cheetos, and egg cum (read: mayo) between two buns. If Brit Brit Spears was Ally Sheedy’s Cap’n Crunch sandwich-eating Breakfast Club character, this is the sandwich she’d whip up during lunch break.

The Takeout says that KFC is testing their Cheetos Chicken Sandwich in North Carolina, Virginia, and Georgia. In their statement about this constipation-inducing Lucifer goiter (or is it a diarrhea-inducing Lucifer goiter?), KFC says that their Cheetos Chicken Sandwich isn’t just some fried chicken and Cheetos. It’s also covered with Chester Cheetah’s jizz:

“Made by coating a juicy, hand-breaded Extra Crispy chicken filet with special Cheetos sauce and placing it on a toasted bun with mayo and a layer of crunchy Cheetos, the Cheetos Sandwich will give you a blast of craveable Cheetos in every bite.”

Richmond, VA morning show radio host, Jack Lauterback, drove to a KFC and got his mouth around one. His final review is that the mayo doesn’t make sense and it tastes like Trump.

Who knew that Joanne the Scammer was the head chef at KFC? I mean, all I need are some store-bought buns (not the Kardashian kind of store-bought buns), some Banquet Fried Chicken from my grocery store’s freezer section, mayo, and a bag of Cheetos to make this happen. That being said, if this mess ever comes to a KFC near me, it’ll only take 10 tokes for me to Postmate their entire supply.

Pic: KFC

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