If you thought you’d be running to the store to grab vegetables today, scrap those plans for about the next two weeks because there won’t be any left for miles and miles. And you can thank Jay-Z and Beyonce for the impending drought. In an attempt to get their fans to stop shoving tons of delicious meat into their hungry pie holes, they are offering one lucky fan the opportunity to score free concert tickets for life. And all it will cost them is trying out a vegan diet first.
Pitchfork reports that The Carters recently shared their thoughts on veganism in an introduction for author and personal trainer Marco Borges‘ new cookbook The Greenprint: Plant-Based Diet, Best Body, Better World. Marco was the one who introduced Jay and Bey to a plant-based lifestyle and now, since their fans do whatever they tell them to do, they want everyone else to try it as well. Beyonce took to Instagram to announce a new contest in partnership with Marco’s website that offers the chance to be showered with appreciation in the form of concert tickets to their individual or joint shows for the rest of their lives. And I’m assuming the lucky winner will probably be around until they’re 150 years old if they eat nothing but kale from now on.
The number of vegans in America alone is about to triple into the millions, especially if they’re members of the Beyhive. Hell, the Beyhive has probably already started growing their own vegetables with the money they’ll save from not having to pay for Jay and Bey’s expensive tickets. People reports that, according to the intro for Marco’s book, Beyonce mentioned one of the reasons she and Jay changed their eating habits was for their children Blu Ivy, Rumi and Sir.
“Having children has changed our lives more than anything else,” they wrote. “We used to think of health as a diet – some worked for us, some didn’t. Once we looked at health as the truth, instead of a diet, it became a mission for us to share that truth and lifestyle with as many people as possible.”
I’m sorry Bey, what were you saying? I couldn’t hear you over the crackling of bacon and hamburger grease for this menage a trois of meat I’m about to throw on a bun and devour. I’m not doing this shit at all, and not because I don’t want to be healthier and live for another thousand years. That vegan shit is expensive. Of course they can both adopt a vegan lifestyle because they have more money than all the banks combined. However, I’m throwing my fist up and saluting anyone who takes on this challenge because you’re better than me. I wish you all the best and hope that if you do win she doesn’t keep you in the nosebleed section with some lame excuse like “You’re up higher because you’ve elevated above everyone else“.