Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 29, 2019 / Posted by:

Color Changing Squeezit!

Because I’m a child of the 80s and a chunk of my brain still lives in the greatest decade that ever was, I regularly think of Squeezit, the former HSOTD that I’d beg my mom to put in my lunch bag. Whenever I had a field trip at school, my mom would give me a special lunch, so I definitely said these words to her: I’ll help you sell my sister’s organs on the black market if you please put a Squeezit in my lunch bag. Squeezits (which sounds like “squeeze zits” if you’re Dr. Pimple Popper or “squeeze tits” if you’re a fan of motorboating) was a line of fruit-flavored corn syrup nectar that came in a waxy bottle. You truly felt like a sophisticated adult while delicately drinking off-brand Kool-Aid out of a plastic beer bottle-shaped bottle. Squeezit came out sometime in the 1980s, and was gone by the early 2000s.

I know I’ve paid homage to that pillar of cavities-inducing sugary refreshness before, but today, I’m paying tribute to the magical elixir known as Color Changing Squeezit. In 1997, General Mills, the makers of Squeezit, delivered some hyper color wonder for your mouth when they put out Color Changing Squeezit. It was just like Squeezit, only when you dropped an enchanted pill into its bottle, it changed color before your very eyes.  Who knew what kind of disease-causing chemicals went into creating this spellbinding diabetes-giving concoction, but who cares, look at this magic! Even the teacher is shaking (or she’s strung out from the night before).

If Alice in Wonderland took place at a 90s rave, that’s what the Mad Hatter would serve at his party.

One of the saddest things about my life (and there’s a lot) is that I never got to see or taste a Color Changing Squeezit. I guess I can always experience the same kind of effect by dropping another kind of magical pill (read: an LSD tablet) into my mouth and watch a bottle of beer change colors and shapes before morphing into a cat that’ll take me on a magic carpet ride to Jupiter.  That’ll do the trick.

Pic: Bustle 

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