The Mirror is reporting that Emma Fairweather, the passenger whose arm was busted in a car crash with THE QUEEN‘s husband, Prince Philip, finally got what she wanted: an apology, and she gave it directly to The Mirror, of course. But I guess that’s nice but like… was the apology written on money? Because the only apology I would accept from the Royal Family is spelled: P-A-Y-O-U-T.
The day after it was reported that 97-year-old Prince Philip never apologized for his Land Rover crashing with a Kia containing two women and a baby, the Royal Family must have realized how bad the PR was getting so they had an intern sit down and write 181 words in a row giving the sentiment of being sorry for something, and had Philip sign the thing. The letter is below, but here’s a piece of it.
“I would like you to know how very sorry I am for my part in the accident at the Babingley cross-roads. I have been across that crossing any number of times and I know very well the amount of traffic that uses that main road. It was a bright sunny day and at about three in the afternoon, the sun was low over the Wash. In other words, the sun was shining low over the main road. In normal conditions I would have no difficulty in seeing traffic coming from the Dersingham direction, but I can only imagine that I failed to see the car coming, and I am very contrite about the consequences.”
Question: the fuck kind of apology is this? This is worse than “I’m sorry you feel that way.” This is the kind of apology only a 97-year-old man who actually cares deeply about the consequences of his actions could write. Just kidding, I mean it was a high-paid legal team in conjunction with a high-paid PR firm.
But Emma is living for it:
“When I opened it I saw the Sandringham House headed paper and went ‘Oh my God!’ …He asked how I was and said sorry that I was in pain. I was chuffed. …I thought it was really nice that he signed off as ‘Philip’ and not the formal title. I was pleasantly surprised because of the personalised nature… A lot of people said it was unrealistic that I wanted that human kindness from Prince Philip – which is what I saw this letter as.”
Emma will be off work for two months and has “instructed solicitors to pursue a compensation claim” so hopefully mama gets a little cash as well as her irrelevant non-apology which she is perfectly happy with. The Royals sure are lucky Philip hit Emma and not Samantha Markle. She would not accept a letter. Keep an eye out for Samantha to be wandering up and down the Babingley cross-roads waiting to get hit by a Royal in a Land Rover.
— David Shepardson (@davidshepardson) January 27, 2019