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Keebler Munch ’ems!

Crackers that tried to fool us by doing their best “chips drag” were a big thing in the ’90s, and the factory of elf slaves that is Keebler came out with their own chips-like crackers in the early-90s.  Munch ’ems were crunchy baked crackers that parents tried to fool kids with by saying they were just like chips, and kids would nibble on that shit while thinking about calling 911 on their mom for pulling some fraud on them. But Munch ’ems were actually kind of delicious and that’s probably because they were slathered in processed flavor deliciousness. They came in original, nacho cheese, and sour cream and onion. But despite that, Keebler got rid of Munch ’ems before the early-aughts.

If you’ve got a pile of gutter sludge for a brain like me, then when you read “Munch ’em,” you probably thought of some elf rim job action going on. And I think those sucio fucks behind this Keebler commercial thought the same thing. While watching a fake old movie, the Keebler elves annoy the actress with their loud munching. But when she finds out that the “chips” they’re munching are actually baked crackers, she gets all tingly in the loins and throws a flirty fuckme pout at the head bitch of the elves, Ernest J. Keebler.

Kinky ass Marcia. Now we know that her most-used PornHub searches are “baked cracker porn” and “munching a head elf.”

Pic: Flickr