Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 25, 2019 / Posted by:

Heinz ketchup caviar!

Sweethearts won’t be around this Valentine’s Day, and that’s bad news for all of you cheap ass lazy whores who decide to celebrate the money-making scam holiday by going to CVS after work on February 14th to get your piece a box of that shit along with a polyester teddy bear. But fear not, Heinz has got you. They have queefed up the epitome of gourmet romance for the perfect price of zero dollars. A small handful of very lucky romantics will get to gift their loved one with a jar of juicy period balls squirted out of a tomato’s vagine. Or a jar of juicy jizz balls squirted out of a tomato’s peen slit. Or a jar of juicy dingles pooted out of a tomato’s b-hole. Or a jar of juicy tonsil stones plucked out of a sick tomato’s mouth. You get the ultra romantic point.

The STUNT QUEENS Department at Heinz Ketchup announced on Twitter that starting yesterday, and continuing until January 28, they will give out a total of 150 jars of ketchup caviar to select Twatterers who respond to their tweet about this pile of tomato ovaries:

So on Valentine’s Day, as you and your piece are inhaling the sumptuous fumes of a heart attack as your KFC firelog burns, and just have finished nibbling on an elegant chicken wing rose bouquet, you can partake in the ultimate act of aphrodisia by poking at ketchup balls with a McDonald’s fry before bringing one to your mouth. Nothing will make your tip wet like ketchup caviar busting on your tongue.

Pic: Heinz

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