Afternoon Crumbs

January 18, 2019 / Posted by:

Ariana Grande put out a new eardrum-destroy song called 7 Rings (working title: Suck On My 7 Diamond-Encrusted Cock Rings, Poor Bitches!), and it samples My Favorite Things from The Sound of Music. Yes, Mary Martin farting out the melody to My Favorite Things would sound better than this mess, but I will give Ariana points for doing herself up like a stripper ram working the day shift of a kitchen (???) in a strip club in Etheria somewhere – Just Jared

John Mayer’s body is a wonderland if a wonderland was a midwestern Salvation Army circa 1987 – Lainey Gossip

I haven’t started watching the third season of True Detective yet, but there’s a chance the finale could be messier than that clearance section Sandy Duncan wig on Stephen Dorff’s head – Pajiba

Steve-O’s addiction to the bad shit touched the sewer under the basement under the cellar under the bottom of the barrel when he knowingly snorted coke mixed with HIV-positive blood – Towleroad

It took my half-broken eyeballs way too long to realize that chick with Lily-Rose Depp isn’t Taylor Swift in a neckbrace made of coffee filters – Popoholic

Rita Ora obviously doesn’t know true elegance when she sees it, because taking a washcloth to that Blade Runner cholita look should be a crime! – Drunken Stepfather

Dina Lohan claims she’s not going to hook up with anybody in the Has-Beens And Never-Wases Celebrity Big Brother house because that kind of shit is for kids and she’s sort of seeing a dude. Cut to Dina Lohan’s dude telling Radar he’s done with her after scandalous CBB video comes out of her making out with a bottle of Svedka while giving a hand job to a bottle of Jack – Reality Tea¬†

In my heaven, this is what the angels look like – OMG Blog

Pic: YouTube

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