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January 17, 2019 / Posted by:

Romeo, the loneliest frog in the world!

That picture isn’t the only time that Romeo has sang, “Sooommmeeeewhere out thereeeeee,” with his eyes. He’s been singing that song for a decade. Well, that song and “Tired Of Being Alone.” Because Romeo is the Jennifer Aniston of frogs and has been FOREVER ALONE….. until now.

Romeo is an extremely rare Bolivian Sehuencas water frog, and for the past ten years he’s been living all by himself in a lab at the Museo de Historia Natural Alcide d’Orbigny in Cochabamba, Bolivia. For us humans who are sick of our own kind, living in complete isolation sounds like a dream (as long as there’s good WiFi, access to porn, and an open weed bar). But scientists don’t want Romeo’s species to die out, so for years they’ve been searching the rainforests of Bolivia for a fuck friend for him. And like you searching for the one sane trick on Tinder, they’ve been coming up empty. That all changed on Tuesday when the museum announced that their expedition team found five healthy frogs including two chicks. I will totally start watching The Bachelor again if next season stars Romeo and his possible fuck mates. This can be the trailer for Romeo’s season:

Sadly, The Bachelor starring Romeo is probably not going to happen, because scientists believe that one of those lady frogs is his match. They’ve quarantined her at the lab, and plan to introduce Romeo to his Juliet on Valentine’s Day, because it’s the perfect STUNT QUEEN holiday for this STUNT QUEEN union to start. Kermit’s lonely Bolivian cousin has a Twitter account, because of course, and someone tweeted about how happy he is to meet his Juliet:

This might give hope to all the desperate lonelies who can’t get a man, but part of me hopes that when Romeo meets Juliet, he’ll hug her tightly and ribbit out, “Grrrrrrl, let’s go shopping, get daiquiris, and go see Aquamans so we can drool over that hot piece Jason Momoa.

Pic: Robin Moore/Global Wildlife Conservation

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