Hot Slut Of The Day!

The halogen high-powered executive bitch desk lamp from the 80s and 90s!

Buzzfeed did a list titled “29 Things All ’90s Kids Had In Their Parents’ House Growing Up.” Out of the 29 things on the list, a total of 0 things were in my mom’s house growing up. Now, if “a giant black and pink puffy paint painting from the swap meet and a big ass ceramic vase filled with skinny sticks” were on the list, there’d be 2 things on their list that were in my mom’s house in the 90s. But on Buzzfeed’s list was something that I wish was in my mom’s house. The executive halogen desk lamp that screamed “Betty, hold all my calls, I’m about to buy the majority shares of my rival’s company on this DOS machine after doing a line of coke off my glass desk!” could be found at the finest strip mall furniture stores or Bif Korea. Next to the desktop zen sand garden and a Newton’s Cradle, that lamp was what any self-respecting power bitch had on their desk. Buzzfeed said this about it:

This ~fancy~ lamp that your parents would have on their desk and would also burn the hell out of you if you touched it while it was on.

My mom’s “desk” was our dining room table, which was covered with a plastic tablecloth, and on top of it were several old yellow pages, bills, and a washed-out yogurt container filled with ketchup and sugar packets my abuelita stole from Denny’s, so it didn’t have room for that luxurious lighting piece of executive hotness. But I wish we had one of those lamps, because if we did, I’d probably be the high-powered CEO of a major conglomerate now (because that’s the power that lamp brings). Either that or I’d still be sitting in my mom’s house at a desk with that lamp on it and pretending to be the high-powered CEO of a major conglomerate while wearing the one blazer she owned. Definitely the latter.

Pic: Catawiki