The “Heather Locklear” tag on this site should be filled with news like how she signed an eight-figure deal with Netflix to star in a buddy drama where Sammy Jo from Dynasty (played by Heather Locklear) and Amanda Woodward from Melrose Place (also played by Heather Locklear) team up to destroy the billionaire who’s been playing them both, made history for being nominated twice for a Best Actress Emmy for playing both roles, and again made history for tying with herself for the Best Actress Emmy. But instead, going through the “Heather Locklear” tag on this site is like taking a sad walk down Tragic Lane. Heather’s been busted for going crazy on police officers, she got arrested again and allegedly attacked an EMT, she got sued by that EMT, she suffered an overdose, she got 5150’d, and she finally went to rehab. Well, bring out SammyJoDancing.mov, because we’ve finally got some good-ish Heather Locklear news!
People says that Heather left rehab at the end of December to spend Christmas with her family. That doesn’t seem like a smart idea to me. I mean, staying in rehab to avoid spending time with your family (which could lead to you running back to the bottle) seems like a better idea, but apparently it all worked out for Heather. She decided not to go back to rehab as planned, and is continuing treatment for substance abuse and depression at home. Heather’s 89-year-old dad Bill and 85-year-old mother Diane are staying with her.
“She’s doing great. She has her parents staying with her, which has been great for everyone truly close to her. The fact that her parents are now staying with her is a good development and comforting. Heather needs grounding and normalcy and what better people to do that than her own parents. It’s a good thing in the end.”
I’m not sure how much Bill and Diane can comfort Heather while wearing head-to-toe armor since not too long ago, she punched and slapped at them.
Radar says that the real reason Heather isn’t going back to rehab is because she dropped her shady businessman fiancé Chris Heisser after they fought over the holidays. Heather thinks that the demon possessing her was the same demon she was fucking on the regular (isn’t that how it always works?) so she’s exorcised him from her life, thinking that everything will be okay now.
“She’s been in and out of rehab and nothing has changed, so she decided to change what she thinks source of the issue is — Chris! That’s why she hasn’t returned to rehab. She’s rationalized that she doesn’t think she needs treatment now that he’s out of her life.”
Heather and Chris were together for a while and their relationship was pretty much an Aaron Spelling production, because it was filled with drama and messiness. They had a few violent fights and she accused him several times of cheating on her. See, it’s situations like this that tell me that the Marie Kondo method doesn’t work for everything. Marie Kondo says that you should keep things that spark joy in you. Now in my experience, the craziest and worst dick for you sparks joy in your holes like nothing else. So it’s a good thing that Heather doesn’t follow the Marie Kondo method.