Hot Slut Of The Day!

Sadly, there’s no pictures available for today’s HSOTD, but just picture a freshly bloomed Texas Bluebonnet blossom or a drunken lady Walmart smiley.

The Times Record News reports that the new delicate poster flower for “Living Your Best Life” got the cops on her ass when employees at a Walmart in Wichita Falls, TX weren’t amused by her drinking wine out of a Pringles can while riding around in one of their mobility scooters at 9 in the morning on a Friday. Those employees must’ve been brand new because the sight of a drunken mess guzzling some Strawberry Hill (you know it was) out of a BBQ Pringles can (you know it was) while wreaking havoc on a scooter has to be as normal as the sight of a Walmart customer shitting in the middle of an aisle while shooting themselves up with motor oil (aka a daily, if not hourly, occurrence). But employees didn’t appreciate this American idol’s antics, which started at 6:30 in the morning, so they called the cops.

The woman was reportedly riding on an electric shopping cart more commonly used for people with physical limitations. Officers were also told she was drinking wine from a Pringle’s can.

Hughes said the reporting party said the suspect had been riding around in the store’s parking lot since 6:30 a.m. while drinking the alcoholic beverage.

When the police arrived, the Wichita Falls Queen of Walmart wasn’t on her chariot and was instead at a nearby restaurant (you know it was Cracker Barrel). She wasn’t arrested, but she was told she got banned from Walmart.

My brain farted up a tornado of question marks while reading this story. Did this delicate Texas rose pay for the wine and Pringles? Did she pour the wine into the Pringles can and drink some kind of soggy potato chips and booze shake (if so, she should start her own subscription service, because that sounds like my idea of Daily Harvest)? How was she able to scoot around as the customers of Walmart were in her way, bowing down to their new Jesus? But my biggest question of all is why did the employees call the police?! Yes, they should’ve made a phone call, but it should’ve been to corporate to tell the head bitches of Walmart that the smiley face is out of a job, because their new mascot has been found!

Pics: Walmart, Sam’s Club, Walmart