Louis C.K. has been accused of something that surprisingly doesn’t involve him jacking off someone into a corner. Sarma Melngailis, the fallen queen of the NYC vegan scene who stole investors’ money and didn’t pay her employees, could have told you that. Page Six reports that after Sarma informed Louis that she thought he’d given her an STD, he basically typographically shrugged and was all “eh, it happens” about it.
Due to Sarma’s recent legal troubles, a large trove of her e-mails made it to Page Six. Among them were some exchanges between her and Louis that began in 2012 with this breathless romanticism:
In a series of emails between the two in 2012 Louis C.K. pines for the chef, telling her in one March note that, “My brain has thoughts about you in it. Somewhere between 27 and 93 ¹/₂.”
Adorable. Things became less so when Sarma accused Louis of giving her the herp or whatever in a June e-mail in which she described herself as “upset and freaked out.” Louis basically told her that it was her own damn fault for not making him wear a rubber.
Louis C.K. responded: “hey. I understand you’re upset. This kind of s–t is tough. I never swore that I was clean. I told you I may or may not have given this to you. I’m sorry if I did. If you gave it to me, it’s okay. We all share the current human bloodstream, which includes this kind of stuff. I should have worn a condom, you should have made me, we should have a lot of things. we are human,” he wrote.
“I never swore I was clean.” A gentleman, that Louis. The overly-self-loving ginge (in more ways than one) then proceeded to wax all Aldous Huxley on Sarma’s ass. Perhaps in an attempt to distract her from the sores he might have given her? Digital vaginas?
“Our generation has this stuff. the next generation will all be inocculated and will have sex with electric glass penises and digital vaginas and they’ll get software viruses instead. It’s part of life.”
My favorite part of this is the end when he tells her he thinks she’ll be ok. Thanks. Dr. C.K.!
“I’ve been told the same thing, that there’s no good tests for guys and even that condoms don’t stop s–t. i don’t know. It’s a mess. I hope you’re okay. i think you will be. And I am sorry. …I still look back tenderly and happily on our time together. And that night. It was really wonderful, even though it never happened again and it seemed to be sort of a stopping point for us, unfortunately.”
Sarma exploited the workers of her former restaurant, embezzled and stole from investors, and ordered a Domino’s pizza even though she’s supposedly a vegan, so you might be thinking, “The bitch had it coming!” But ugh, imagine carrying an STD from THAT guy? Even some of her former employees who walked out when she refused to pay them TWICE are probably sending her Hallmarks over that one.