Last August when legendary Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin crossed that bridge over troubled water to be with Jesus, the world became a little less shady and a whole lot sadder. Well, maybe not entirely less shady because there’s a new report that someone dipped their greedy sticky fingers into her cash right before she died.
First of all, why would anyone steal from the Queen? After everything she’s given us over the years: major side eyes of death, endless pics of her ginormous chi chis in low cut dresses, and of course the phrase that forever pays, “Beautiful gowns“. I guess some people don’t care about what she’s done for the culture and the world, because TMZ reports that Aretha, who was already millions of dollars in the hole with the IRS around the time of her passing, was the victim of an undisclosed amount of theft from her assets and currently the Detroit police are searching for a suspect.
According to legal docs, obtained by TMZ, police in Michigan are conducting an investigation into the theft of Aretha’s assets before she died.
Law enforcement sources tell us the criminal probe involves someone inappropriately using her funds. We’re told a report was filed last June, but it’s unclear exactly how much money’s gone missing.
I guess I’m a bit naive when I think of superstars like Aretha because I just assume they never have money problems. And I hope it wasn’t one of her family members because that would have been the perfect opportunity for her to jump out of her sick bed and say, “You better think about what you try’na do to me“. However, my money’s on Dionne Warwick since she, too, oweth the tax man a couple dollars. Plus there was no love lost between the two of them and maybe Aretha owed Dionne five dollars for a pack of smokes back in 1975. Dionne looks like the kind of hussy to hold a grudge for that long.