Chris Pratt is looking more and more like his old self these days. He was was recently photographed poolside, taking his old friend Mr. Tumtum out for a walk. But Chris isn’t about that life anymore. As we know, he takes his orders from above and so he’s turned to the bible for guidance. Chris posted an Instagram story telling his fans that he’s embarked on a “Daniel Fast” which is “21-days of prayer and fasting”. Shit, any 21-day fast would have praying to God every 10 minutes to just go ahead and strike me down.
Judging by the state of Chris’ face in this video, it looks like he might be praying for a quick and merciful death as well.
According to Huffington Post:
The Daniel Fast is based on the fasting experiences of the Old Testament prophet of the same name, according to its website. The diet restricts individuals from consuming meat and animal products, dairy, leavened bread, processed foods and essentially every beverage, except for water.
The website says the general rule is “only foods grown from the seed; the only beverage is water”. The focus should not be on the food or the “flesh”, but rather to “have a meaningful encounter with God and to draw nearer to Him”. But I guess your prayer shouldn’t be “Dear God, please bring donuts when you come”, so I’m out. Speaking of flesh, here’s the former thicc legend strutting his stuff poolside recently.
Chris Pratt 2019 🖤 pic.twitter.com/pInsqiaJDE
— André Mans (@andremans) January 9, 2019
That’s what I’m talking about. When Chris got ripped, many of us (me specifically) mourned the loss of his chubby Andy Dwyer physique (and personality). But of course it’s his body (and personality) to do with as he pleases. He said he couldn’t get boners when he was heavier, so it’s understandable why he’s worked so very hard to maintain his A-list abs. If Chris wants to eat nothing but grape water and talk to Jesus, more power to him. And just to be clear, I’m not talking the good kind of grape water (alcohol isn’t allowed), I’m talking room temperature tap water with a single grape floating in it. That’s all you, boo.