Everyone has been on pins and needles in anticipation (not really) wondering who will host the 91st Academy Awards this year since Kevin Hart is finally out for good. His 2019 Apology Tour was a major flop so The Oscars will forge ahead without a host. Personally, I wasn’t going to watch that circle jerk of boredom with or without Kevin. However now I think it’s my duty to tune in so I can talk my shit all throughout the telecast.
The last time the Oscars went completely host-less was back in the prehistoric era of 1989 where an actress dressed as Snow White and Rob Lowe, during the height of his addiction to the other snow white, performed a very odd rendition of Proud Mary. Actually, the entire number was weird as fuck. However, let me just tell you now if this is the kinda shit they plan on pulling for this year’s ceremony my eyes will be glued to the screen for every cringe worthy moment. There still may be time for a big named celebrity to swoop in like Captain Save-A-Host but in the event that doesn’t happen the Academy is prepared to pull a rabbit out of their asses and make this mess work. There will still be tons of stars to look at during monologues and skits according to Variety. The Academy is going to attempt to make it look like they know what they’re doing even though everyone in the audience will have side eyes and smirks galore if they can’t pull it off correctly.
Producers will select a crop of A-listers to introduce various segments instead of relying on one marquee name to kick things off in a monologue filled with Trump zingers, said the insiders. The producers and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the group behind the Oscars, are scrambling to line up top talent needed to carry the telecast, which is just six weeks from airing live — on Feb. 24 — from Hollywood’s Dolby Theatre. Hand-wringing at the Academy has been palpable.
The Academy would also like to address the snooze factor of this three year long broadcast by trimming a bit of the fat off for time. Hopefully what that means is they’ll just read the winners names instead of going down the list of the nominees, which would speed the show up by about two and a half hours at least.
Oscars producer Donna Gigliotti is also looking at ways to trim a show that has been accused of being interminable and bloated, insiders said. That may entail shaking up the usual monotonous stream of presenters calling up winners, though how exactly Gigliotti and team will tinker with that remains to be seen.
The good news, people familiar with Gigliotti’s plans said, is that key changes to this year’s ceremony have minimized the role of the host anyway. The new style and pacing of presenters will require less time from an emcee, one of the sources said.
his no host thing may set a new trend for the Academy since many people skip the show and watch clips from the ceremony the next day anyway. But not me! Because if they’re going to do another LSD-inspired trip through old Hollywood like they did back in the day I’m going to make sure my cup stays filled with Jameson and my bowl is stocked with a mountain of marijuana. If you’ve never seen that 11 minute clusterfuck of “The Hell?”, what are you doing with your life? But you can watch it below: