Snake oil saleswoman, sometimes-actress, and yoga “founder” Gwyneth Paltrow already wanted us to know her divorce from Chris Martin wasn’t like any other divorce – they were “conscious uncoupling,” which meant they would still be friends. Fast forward a few years, and Gwyn is now married to Brad Falchuk, and Chris is with Dakota Johnson. I guess conscious uncoupling also means consciously agreeing to fly your ass to the Maldives and play babysitter to your ex while she has a honeymoon because Gwyn says Chris came along with their kids when she and Brad honeymooned over the last few weeks.
People says Gwyneth was on Live with Kelly and Ryan yesterday and she bragged about her “modern family” taking one giant honeymoon, ex-husband to play the role of handmaid, to the Maldives. Gwyn elaborated a bit more:
“We just took our honeymoon in the Maldives and we had a big family honeymoon over Christmas. So, my new husband and his children, my children, my ex-husband, our best family friends [all went]. It was a very modern honeymoon.”
RyanS Seacrest wondered what in hell you talk about over a honeymoon dinner when the guy who used to boink you is a stone’s throw away from the guy who is currently boinking you. I would assume it’s a lot of talking about Gwyneth’s movies, and Gwyneth’s jade egg line, and what yoga instructor Gwyneth is going to wreak terror on next. Alas, she says they mainly just talked “lots of kids and you know what it was great, we had such a good time.” Gwyneth says this whole modern family thing is to minimize the pain of their kids having a so-called “broken home,” but let’s call a spade a spade: this thing won’t be over until they are in a polyamorous marriage living in a yurt and posing for the next cover of Goop magazine with the title “One Husband is SOOOO Pedestrian.”