The director of the Golden Globe-winning film Green Book, Peter Farrelly, admitted to flashing his penis in front of hundreds of people, including Cameron Diaz, and it honestly just sounds like a silly anecdote at this point. It’s the mushroom on the top of a shit sundae served up by the film’s screenwriter, Nick Vallelonga, who recently deleted his Twitter account after an anti-muslim, conspiracy theory tweet was discovered. Warning: the “sprinkles” on this sundae are actually mouse turds. Let’s not forget that the star of the film, Mahershla Ali, a Muslim, already had to defend his co-star, Viggo Mortensen for saying the N-word at a screening back in November.
Here’s the unearthed tweet from Nick, who is rumored to be an entire piece of work.
Nick Vallelonga wrote Green Book. My industry just gave him a Golden Globe for writing. This remains on his timeline.
Mahershala Ali is a Muslim, and a beautiful, generous and kind man.
This is all just too disgusting. pic.twitter.com/LYVbpFZFUL
— Jordan Horowitz (@jehorowitz) January 10, 2019
According to Vulture, he was “responding to then-candidate Donald Trump”. When asked about the tweet, Nick’s representation said “The twitter account has been deleted … not sure if any comment is actually needed here”. Have all the publicists in Hollywood been replaced with shape-shifting aliens bent on our destruction?
Now about that maraschino mushroom, Peter did feel compelled to comment when The Cut reported that he used to think popping his little pecker out on set was a hilarious joke. This anecdote comes from a 1998 Newsweek article, around the same time There’s Something About Mary came out. Apparently, an on-set running gag was for Peter and his brother Bobby Farrelly, to trick people into looking at Peter’s dick.
Bobby, 40, is the straight man, all innocence as he lays the trap. Then Peter — lankier, edgier and a year older — delivers the coup de grace. You may think you’re going to be examining a mysterious blotch on Peter’s torso, or checking out his new watchband. The reality is a good deal more shocking, but as actress Cameron Diaz puts it, “When a director shows you his penis the first time you meet him, you’ve got to recognize the creative genius.”
At the time, Peter said they had done the dick trick “easily 500 times“. Today, Peter wishes he hadn’t. I bet they are at least 500 people would agree “me too, Peter” (via The Wrap).
“True. I was an idiot,” he said in a statement. “I did this decades ago and I thought I was being funny and the truth is I’m embarrassed and it makes me cringe now. I’m deeply sorry.”
That’s nice and all but is he also going to apologize for naming his kids Bob and Apple? That’s a lame joke that lasts a lifetime. I feel like Mahershala would very much like to become invisible right about now. He might want to co-sign the last part of Peter’s statement and apply it to this movie. Don’t forget that he also had to apologize, to the family of Don Shirley, the man he portrays in the movie (via The Wrap).
But the film has also faced a cultural backlash, particularly following a feature piece posted by Shadow and Act in which the family of jazz musician Dr. Don Shirley — played by Mahershala Ali in the film — called “Green Book” a “symphony of lies,” saying that Shirley never had a deep relationship with his white driver, Tony Vallelonga, as the film suggests.
Won’t you please join me an a moment of non-denominational prayer that this upcoming season of True Detective is better than the bad wigs would have us believe. Mahershala could really use a win.