The Fiji Water Girl Is On Jamie Lee Curtis’ Shit List

January 9, 2019 / Posted by:

Kelleth Cuthbert, aka The Fiji Water Girl, may have won the heart of millions and clawed her way into the hallowed halls of Hot Slutdom, but there was one white hot beam of glamour she couldn’t eclipse. Kelleth can go right ahead and scratch “share a THC laced yogurt with Jamie Lee Curtis” off her vision board for good because it’s never gonna happen (it’s still on mine, though). Attention seekers take note: JLC is not the one. And she’s not about to let some corporate shill use her image to sell a gotdamn thing. JLC has been in the business since before she was born, and she knows the game backwards and forwards. But sometimes, even the greats get got. She thought she had successfully avoided getting photographed with the FWG.  Apparently, CNN caught JLC slipping. Her evasive moves to avoid being seen with you know who?, were not 100% successful.

JLC posted the picture on Instagram which should be read as a masterclass in reclaiming one’s time/image.

This is like catching a glimpse of a vampire in a mirror. You know it’s impossible, yet one moment of failed magic allowed a small window onto the secrets of the universe to appear, ever so briefly. In that moment, JLC was mortal. Don’t expect to see this happen again in your lifetime. The entire world’s opportunity to photo bomb JLC came and went in mere seconds on that red carpet, and of course, the FWG was there to shoot her shot.

I hope it was worth it for her. Personally, no photo opportunity with JLC is worth risking her wrath. Unlike the FWG, I’m still dreaming that one day I might be able to eat a bunch of cheese and then share a homemade InstaPot yogurt with JLC (you know she doesn’t actually eat that processed Activia crap), go home, and take the best marijuana-high shit of my life. It’s almost all I’ve ever wanted. If your dreams aren’t specific, they’re hardly worth dreaming at all.


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