Open Post: Hosted By Lady Gaga Holding A Dead Turkey

January 9, 2019 / Posted by:

You may have read that headline and looked at that picture and thought, “I don’t see her holding a copy of Artpop.

The National Board of Review ceremony happened in NYC last night, and the winners were announced in November, so Lady Gaga already knew she won Best Actress. She didn’t have to worry about straining her Botoxed face muscles while trying to look happy as either Glenn Close or Olivia Colman took the win. A Star Is Born also won one National Board of Review awards for Bradley Cooper (Best Director), and one for Sam Elliott (Best Supporting Actor). Regina King was also there last night to accept the Best Supporting Actress award, and the cast of Crazy Rich Asians showed up to collect their trophy for Best Ensemble.

Since Gaga wants that OSCUH, she’s doing a style reboot of 1997’s Courtney Love Oscar makeover by trying to keep it classy and demure. Gaga wore a basic Ralph Lauren tuxedo gown thing, and carried what I think is supposed to be a boa, but looks like the corpse of a murdered wild turkey. Did Gaga make up with Azealia Banks, so that Azealia could teach her how to sacrifice poultry in the name of destroying the Golden Globes curseand win A Star Is BornĀ a bunch of Oscars? Probably.

But unless she was going for “just killed this turkey and gonna take it back to my farmhouse to hump it,” she shouldn’t have awkwardly carried it while making sexy face. What she should’ve done is cover up that shellacked Stepford Wife coif with that dead turkey. It would’ve looked like Phyllis Diller doing Tina Turner. Now that would’ve been it.


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