Who Is Our Hot Slut Of 2018? Vote In Round One!

January 8, 2019 / Posted by:

It’s finally that time when we begin to find out who will inherit the sash, crown, and scepter from our current reigning Hot Slut of the Year, Winona Ryder’s Many Faces (and every time I remember that all you weird freaks voted to make Winona Ryder’s Many Faces our HSOTY, I make Winona Ryder’s Many Faces).

Super Bitch has won the Hot Slut of December showdown with 34.97% of the votes, barely beating out the Christmas Dragons (34.85%), but easily beating The Julia Roberts’ Holes Typo (25.62%), and Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros (4.56%). I know, it’s wrong that Super Bitch doesn’t get his own post where we worship at his pink Hot Slut feet, but we’ve got a Hot Slut of the Year to crown!

In this first round, the HSOTM winners from January, February, March, and April will be battle it out for a spot in the finals. If you’ve got a memory like a water-damaged rusty flash drive and don’t remember those HSOTMs, let me refresh your memory:

January –  Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, the judicial anti-pedo warrior who happily sent Larry Nassar to a prison cell to die, and she did it while slathered in Princess Marcelle Borghese rouge glamour.

FebruaryMark Roberts, the tutu-wearing wonder of hotness who nearly ended the 2018 Winter Olympics in PyeongChang by melting everything in sight when he crashed an event in a sexy ensemble that promoted glamour, beauty, love, peace, and monkey conservation.

MarchDog, the Scottish Fold cat from Vietnam who sells fish at the market, and when he isn’t doing that, he’s serving glamour on Instagram. Why do I have a feeling that Dog is going to lead catmanity’s revolt against humans since he’s a cat named Dog, and has to give fish to other people instead of eating it?

AprilKaramel, the squirrel from Turkey who nearly saw Squirrel Jesus went he got caught in an animal trap and lost his arms. But thanks to some human engineers, he was given two wheels and turned into Speed Squirrel.

Voting is below. This is a quick one. The winner will be announced this Friday (January 11), and that’s when voting will begin for HSOTY: Round Two!


Pics: YouTube, AP, Instagram

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >