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January 6, 2019 / Posted by:

Wyler’s FruitSlush!

If you regularly watched Saturday morning cartoons or children’s shows in the late-80s, then there’s a very good chance that you’ve already gotten a priest to exorcise the FruitFlush jingle from your brain. So if you don’t want the FruitFlush jingle to possess your mind all over again, do not press play on the video below. But FruitSlush was basically a fruity slushie made by Wyler’s around 1988-ish. Like all slushies, it was pretty much something a polar bear would piss out after downing gallons of TOTALLY NATURAL fruit juices.

FruitSlush was found in the fruit snacks section of the grocery store, and after freezing it up, you’d turn that bitch into a slushy by stabbing a spoon into it. I don’t remember ever eating a FruitSlush, but what I do remember is the commercial’s jingle. If you didn’t smash your FruitSlush while singing “Mish-mush, eatin’ FruitSlush, doin’ the FruitSlush mush” and bouncing around in a dimly lit kitchen or garage, then you were doing it wrong.

The FruitSlush jingle is also the perfect song to sing if you’re a nostalgic top and doing a nostalgic bottom.

And if you’ve ever wondered if meth loses its potency when you freeze it, the answer is obviously: NO. I mean, judging by that commercial, meth was obviously the secret ingredient in FruitSlush.

Pic: YouTube

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