Who Is The Final Hot Slut Of The Month Of 2018?

January 3, 2019 / Posted by:

We made it through 2018, and I’m sure that once we crawled out of that impacted shit chute of horribleness, we all (read: me, just me) said, “I only made it through because I need to know who Miss Hot Slut of 2018!” But before we find out who will succeed Winona Ryder’s Many Faces as the Hottest Hot Slut to Hot Slut the Hot Sluttiest in 2018, we need to find out who has taken the last Hot Slut of the Month spot of the year.

Every time we do this shit, I say that this month’s choices are a real motley crew, but I mean it this time. We’ve got a typo, some cereal, inflatable dragons, and the most glamorous Marvel character who isn’t a Marvel character. That’s like the start of an Aristocrats joke. As it goes with every damn HSOTM contest, the first three finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month, and the fourth was picked my me. Your choices for December’s HSOTM are:

The Julia Roberts’ holes typo, the instantly legendary typo that The Post-Journal of Jamestown, NY made about Julia Roberts and her holes that get better with age. It may have been a typo, but my hole still wants to slide up to Julia Roberts’ holes (not in a scissor sister way, you gutter-brained bitches!) and ask them what their secrete is. That was another typo that stays.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros, the cereal that is probably just churros-shaped Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but call anything a churro, and mouths will slobber as we reach for the insulin.

The Christmas Dragons, the inflatable lawn dragons who caused a neighbor to shit out a flame of Christian rage over those dark-sided Christmas decorations. The neighbor was off base and wrong since we all know the Three Wisemen were Puff the Magic Dragon, Smaug, and Mushu.

Super Bitch, the sparkly wonder of hot pink badassness who drop kicked late into 2018 to let assholes know that he’s going to drop kick their asses all through 2019.

Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be announced on Tuesday, January 8th, and that’s when we’ll begin voting on the biggest title in the universe in the world on the internet on this site!


Pics: Twitter, General Mills, Twitter, YouTube

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