Night Crumbs

The divorce between Colton Haynes and his flower daddy of a husband/partner in selfie duckface-making Jeff Leatham is back on after they tried to make it work for a minute. They were married by Pimp Mama Kris, so I was hoping that they’d make it (Note: “Making it” in Hollywood marriage time is two years) to prove that her powers of evil are weakening. But I guess not. Satan wins again! –  Just Jared

Tom Cruise and Miles Teller look like H&R Block accountants going to a conference in Minnesota – Lainey Gossip 

James Charles has fans crazy enough to show up to his house for a hug – Towleroad

Prolapsing: NBC’s censors were while watching to see if Miley Cyrus’ boob tape would fail and her nipple would come flying out – Drunken Stepfather 

The Church of Satan are readying their magnifying glasses for when the new episodes of the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina come out and they can search that shit for more copyright infringements – Pajiba

Anne Hathaway is giving you Julia Roberts in The Pelican Brief cosplay – Popoholic

Gayle King might step out of the cesspool of sexual harassment that is CBS – SOW

I hope that Elizabeth Hurley’s Instagram videographer took a Dramamine before filming this nausea-inducing scene – Hollywood Tuna

Jennifer Garner was either touched by the Botox angels or that fresher look is from divorcing Ben Affleck – Celebitchy

Gretchen Rossi and noted deadbeat dad Slade Slimey made a baby – Reality Tea

Pic: Instagram