Kensington Palace Has Shared The Royal Christmas Card Portraits

December 14, 2018 / Posted by:

‘Tis the season for me to start getting IM’s messages from friends of yore asking me for my address so I can act surprised when I get a Christmas card in the mail with a picture of them, their spouse I’ve never met, and their “adorable” kids. It’s all so wholesome and earnest, and goes against my core beliefs. Still, I always hold on to them for a couple of weeks because I feel guilty about recycling them immediately. Sadly I didn’t get a text message from Kensington Palace this year, and I really wish I had because there’s nothing wholesome about the tingling sensation Prince William is giving me in his family portrait. If I was on the list, that card would be skipping the mantle and going straight to my bedside table.

The Palace has published the official Christmas card portraits for the royals. It’s the first official card for The Duke and Duchess of Sussex (that’s Meghan and Harry), and it’s Prince Louis‘ debut, which was marred by William’s chest hairs and arm meat hogging the spotlight.

Here’s the official photo of William and Kate, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, and their kids Prince George, 5, Princess Charlotte, 3, and Prince Louis, 8 months.

I have never been attracted to William before but now I’m absolutely smitten. For every inch his hairline recedes, he subtracts an inch from his neckline by undoing another button. This time next year we might be getting a little nipple action. Yes, daddy! He looks like a scrubbed up baby Woody Harrelson. 8/10 would share a joint in the boathouse with.

This photo is a big improvement on last year’s where the entire family looked stiff, old fashioned and formal. This year, they all look natural and happy. And baby Louis is a super cute addition. Who doesn’t love a little baby with a popped collar? People says the photo was taken in early fall at Anmer Hall, William and Kate’s country home in Norfolk.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s first official Christmas card photo was taken in May and Meghan at Harry’s Frogmore House wedding reception.

Very artsy, sweet, and intimate. And clever because there’s nothing to pick apart or analyze here. Everybody’s already seen this outfit on Meghan. Plus, she could have a live chicken hanging from her mouth in this shot and nobody would know.

People says the whole gang is expected to join The Queen at Sandringham Estate in Norfolk, as they do every year, to eat turkey, and parade around in goofy hats. Hopefully Princess Michael of Kent will dig up another piece of colonial jewelry to troll us with this year.

Pic: @KensingtonRoyal

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