Kanye West Is Fighting With Drake For The 9,857,999th Time

December 13, 2018 / Posted by:

Kanye West’s new friend, that talking tree, needs to come and get him because he’s getting messy again.

Kanye’s Fern Gully moment of zen didn’t last long. Kanye added some oil to the pan and reheated his cold, dried-out, rotten beef with Drake. This time Kanye’s b-hole got twisted over Drake’s team asking for clearance to sample his song Say What’s Real. Drake remixed it in 2009. Kanye got mad because he says he’s been trying to talk to Drake for months but Drake has been avoiding him like Kanye avoids a sense of reason. Kanye could’ve, I don’t know, used his finger to open up the Messages app and text Drake, but that wouldn’t have made him trend on Twitter. And if it doesn’t get Kanye attention, it didn’t happen. Cut to Azalea Banks screaming: THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING!

Kanye sharted up a truce in his toddler fight against Drake back in September after he got pissed that Drake seemingly bragged about fucking Kim Kartrashan in a track. But Kanye is mad again and his MAGA hat blew right off of his head in a rage over Drake wanting something but failing to bow down and blow an air kiss of sorries into Kanye’s b-hole.

Kanye then claimed that while Drake has been ghosting him, he’s been sweetening up to Pimp Mama Kris, whose devil horns are definitely quivering something extra over getting name-checked in this stupid fight, and over people thinking that Drake wants to do her. Drake pissing off Kanye by talking to his family is a move straight out of The Real ManBabies of Hip-Hop.

Kanye also let Drake (and everyone) know that he didn’t spill the news of Drake’s secret son.

On top of the apology, Kanye wanted Drake to stop mocking his mental health issues by attacking him with purple emojis.

Kanye even brought God into it by quoting the Bible, and no I don’t mean that Kanye (who is God to Kanye) posted a lyric from one of his own albums (which are the Bible to Kanye). I mean the actual Bible:

After all that, Kanye claimed that Drake called (and I’m guessing Drake apologized?). But Drake didn’t get the clearance anyway.

Meanwhile as two 5-year-olds temporarily stopped fighting over a toy to scream, “Grow the fuck up,” at Kanye and Drake, Drake responded in an Instagram story. He brought out the emojis, but they were non-purple ones:

View this post on Instagram

Wait, what’s tea, #Drake? (See previous posts)

A post shared by The Shade Room (@theshaderoom) on

So that ends this episode of Masterdouche Theater. But I’m sure we’ll get another episode when Drake sends Kanye a purple emojis-filled text and writes, “SIKE! I was crossing my fingers!”

Pic: Wenn.com

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