Who Is November’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

December 7, 2018 / Posted by:

It’s an all-animal battle royale! Well, an almost all-animal battle royale if you don’t count a plastic phone version of a cartoon cat as a real animal. But whatever the case may be, it’s our 11th Hot Slut of the Month contest of the year, and this time around, we all said “fuck it” to the humans and proved that we’re prejudiced against humanity by leaving our kind completely out. Humans deserve it! This HSOTM showdown pits legendary foes against each other. A cat is battling a rat. A dog is battling a cat. And a phone is battling a cat, a rat, and a dog (they’re foes because cats, dogs and rats don’t know how to use a phone).

The first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month, and the fourth is a wild card picked by me. I did what the Hollywood Foreign Press failed to do and gave Olivia from Widows the shine she deserves. Your choices are:

The Garfield phone, one of the IT phones of the 1980s that had permanent “what a loser you are since nobody calls you” eyes and came alive in the middle of the night to steal lasagna from your fridge.

Saul, the stray ginger puss who won the internet over with his grumpy face after he was taken to the RSPCA because he was hit by a car. And now that I look at that pic, Saul should move to Hollywood to star in a live-action Garfield movie.

The Not The One Rat in Luxembourg who wasn’t about to end up in a cat’s stomach and gave us the new definition of Scaredy Cat.

Olivia, the thespian dog who gave the performance of the year in Widows and should rightfully show up to the Oscars next year and crash the stage Kanye-style every time an award is not given to her since she deserves them all!


Voting is below! The winning HSOTM will be announced next Friday, December 14.

Pic: Etsy, RSPCA, YouTube, Animal Casting Atlanta

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