Night Crumbs
A writer at The Cut outed themselves as a major JoBro stan by writing a piece about how Priyanka Chopra, who is a mega star in India, is a global scam artist and gold digging opportunist who is using poor little Nick Jonas. They pulled the article. First of all, they’ll probably get a letter from Pimp Mama Kris’ lawyers since I’m sure she has trademarked “global scam artist.” Second of all, the article didn’t get any praise for the amazing acts of alleged fakery Nick Jonas pulled by wiping a non-existent tear from his face as Priyanka walked down the aisle. I mean what is he? Stunt queen chopped liver? – Pajiba
The paps got a picture of Duchess Meghan’s bump, and you can practically feel the royal fetus gloating over how Prince Hot Ginge is going to be their daddy – Lainey Gossip
The Academy may have forgotten about Kevin Hart’s gay-hating jokes (no, they didn’t), but the internet didn’t – Towleroad
Betty Cooper from Riverdale is giving you a photo shoot that you and your friends may have done in the 90s using your older sister’s raver clothes and Reynolds Wrap – Drunken Stepfather
That twink Mormon from So You Think You Can Dance? is all grown up and looking like a beefy daddy who is the star of many wrestling-themed gay porn movies – SOW
If JLo was in Dynasty and had to shoot a funeral scene…. – Popoholic
Dax Shepard’s kids may be those kids in school who make the other chirrun cry by telling them the truth about Santa – Celebitchy
Expect Adobe stock to plummet this month – Just Jared
Pic: People TV via Instagram