Night Crumbs

November 26, 2018 / Posted by:

Curly-haired yodeling twink Shawn Mendes is letting everyone know for the final time that he isn’t into dick. Shawn really let it out by saying that he felt like he needed to be seen with a girl to prove he’s not gay (even though he knows there’s nothing wrong with being gay), he hated the side of him that needed to prove that he’s a coochie lover, and that he wanted to scream at his Twitter followers that if he was gay and terrified of coming out, the gay jokes could lead him to suicide. The gay rumors caused him tons of anxiety and he even had to leave a showing of Love, Simon because he had a panic attack. So, now I guess Shawn’s rumored piece Hailey Baldwin knows that she was probably just a beard to a straight guy, which I guess would make her more of a goatee with a soul patch – Towleroad

You know what they say… when you want people to stop talking about how you may have cheated on your fiancee with a Russian model, cut your luscious mane and get a stache that makes you look like a 1920s porn star – Lainey Gossip 

Who are these strangers and why did they just pay me to take a picture with them?” thought Joe Gorga’s dad – Reality Tea

Celebrities still go to The Ivy, I guess – Drunken Stepfather

Okay, but why from the neck up does Julianne Hough look like a nerdy version of Julia Roberts in her ho stroll drag from Pretty Woman? – Popoholic

While some were avoiding posts about Bernardo Bertolucci’s death because of the rape scene in Last Tango in Paris, a movie critic brought it up with a joke – Pajiba

Madison Beer next to a beer – Hollywood Tuna  

Andie MacDowell is going to be in the Four Weddings and a Funeral remake we don’t need – Celebitchy

We’re going to have to bust Sammy Jo moves in a prayer circle around Heather Locklear for a little bit longer, because her 5150 hold has been extended – Just Jared

Pic: Ruven Afanador/Rolling Stone

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