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November 25, 2018 / Posted by:

Pea, the runaway peacock!

Many of us have a family member who ran away with a turkey. My cousin ran away to be with a turkey in Florida, but his ass ended up in the clink and she had to shuffle on back home. But this is a story about a family member running away to be with actual turkeys.

Brian and Rene Johnson of Springfield, Vermont screamed “AYUDAME!” at Vermont Fish & Wildlife when their peacock Pea, who also goes by Walter and Forest, ran away from home to be with a flock of wild turkeys. Vermont Fish & Wildlife responded to Brian and Rene’s plea for help by clowning Pea’s ass on Facebook!

You never know what the day will bring here at Vermont Fish & Wildlife. This was a request for help we got via email this morning:

“My peacock has run off with the turkeys. Do you have any suggestions on how to catch the little twerp?? I do not believe they can breed……concerned. I know where he is most days. Any information would be appreciated!”

Maybe the peacock would have found a different crowd to run with if he knew how close Thanksgiving is!

WCAX3 thanked the serious journalism gods for bringing them this riveting story during the slow holiday weekend, and interviewed the Johnsons to get the scoop. Pea’s little peacock brother died and so he was lonely and sad in the heart. Rene believes that Pea ran off with the turkeys, because he thinks they’re more like him instead of the Johnson’s chickens. So six weeks ago, he ran off and joined the turkeys and hasn’t really been back. Although, Pea isn’t totally lost. He’s spotted regularly around his home, and even lets Rene feed him snacks from time to time, but he isn’t trying to get caught. Rene is hoping they can lure Pea back home before the winter really gets his ass.

If the Johnsons really want to lure Pea back onto their property, they should surround their house with tons and tons of mirrors. Because the only thing peacocks like more than being surrounded by a bunch of homely ass turkeys who make them look extra gorgeous and glamorous by comparison is a mirror to take in their beauty with.

Pic: NBC10 Boston

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