Happy Thanksgiving From Miss Diana Ross Ruling The Macy’s Parade

November 22, 2018 / Posted by:

Since it’s Thanksgiving and most of us here at Dlisted are going to spend the rest of the day making our stomachs and bowels sing “AH’M BEGGING FOR YOU MER-SAAAAAY!” by shoving pounds of meat into our face holes like we’re a power bottom at a pass around Patty orgy, we’re pressing pause on our regularly scheduled programming of foolery today. But I will leave you with the Empress of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, Diana Ross, waving to her subjects while wearing the carcass of a Yeti. Diana also performed and proved that her voice is so powerful that she doesn’t need a stupid mic to fill the land with it, and she is such a talented goddess that she can sing without even moving her lips!

It takes a real legend to deliver a perfect vocal performance without a mic, and without moving her lips, and with her hair trying to eat her head. Diana Ross’ hair was hands down the best Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade float this year.

The truth is that everyone lip-synchs (just ask the New Year’s Mariah Carey of Thanksgiving, Rita Ora) during the Macy’s parade, because of sound limitations, or some shit, and I guess because singers don’t want the icy wind fucking their vocal cords raw. But Diana delivered a perfect Lip Synch For Her Life, and it’s a good thing her daughter-in-law Ashlee Simpson was there, because Ashlee needs to know how it’s really done.

And with that, I wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving. I’m thankful that your asses are trashy enough to read Dlisted!

Pics: Wenn.com

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