Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Guard Pussy of the Pacific Northwest!
We’ve seen the proof and have known for a long time that raccoons are slowly taking over the world, and have already turned alligators, bird feeders, buildings, Canadians, and the police into their slaves. Those dumpsters and trash cans they’re constantly going through? Silly, human, they’re not looking for half-eaten pizza crusts and Hot Pocket innards. They’re looking for personal information to use against you and blackmail you into joining their army that will control this planet one day. Yes, they’re the original Scientologists. But there’s one species getting in their way:
PUSSYKIND!
In this very short clip that future historians will use to document an important battle that launched World War III between cats and raccoons, a raccoon think it’s being slick by breaking into a human’s house through the pussy flap. But Bailey, the 15-year-old cat of Lindsay Mills, wasn’t about to let some stranger bitch break into his kingdom to steal his food (or trash). Now, a raccoon could shank down a cat easy, but King Bailey doesn’t give a hell, was ready for a tussle and dropped some “they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… our Friskies!” shit on a bitch.
My cat is a goddamn KING. ??? pic.twitter.com/5Np8o8FYvV
— Lindsay Mills (@lindsaymills) November 16, 2018
Rich people whose houses keep getting broken into, take note. Fuck ADT. Get yourself a Bailey Security System.
After Lindsay’s post went viral, she explained why the flap wasn’t locked and also said that Bailey had snapped:
So the funniest part of this is that neighborhood cats try to come in all the time and my cat doesn’t try to fight them AT ALL. Doesn’t even meow at them. But a raccoon twice his size that could easily hurt him is when he finally decides he’s had enough
People keep asking why animals have access to the house lol. The cat door is supposed to only unlock when it detects my cat’s tag on his collar…but he hated the clicking sound it made so it’s turned off. His house, his rules
So there you go, and in the battle of world domination, the new score is:
Cats: 9,532,999
Raccoons: 9,532,999
Choose your side now! (I’m still undecided based on which one of them is going to fight to bring Jell-O 1-2-3 back.)
Pic: YouTube