Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 17, 2018 / Posted by:

Mayor Smoke the Turkey of Ashwaubenon, Wisconsin!

America’s Annual Losing It About Politics At The Dinner Table Scream-a-thon is less than a week away, and in between your Trump-loving uncle still screaming about Crooked Hillary and your Bernie-loving second cousin still screaming about Crooked Hillary, they sometimes shut their scream hole for a second with a big piece of cooked (or overcooked, depending on who’s cooking it) turkey flesh. So because it’s turkey eatin’ season, turkeys are either laying in a freezer coffin at a grocery store, headed to a freezer coffin at a grocery store, or hiding out in Alicia Silverstone’s backyard. But not Smoke the Turkey!

There’s a very good reason for why Smoke is throwing a “Try to come at me with that cleaver, bitch” look in that picture above. (Yes, that’s the look Smoke is making. I speak fluent turkey face.) The biggest turkey of them all may be running the entire country (no offense to turkeys, that was seriously not right of me), but a smarter (that’s not saying much) turkey is running the game in Ashwaubenon, Wisconsin.

The Green-Bay Press Gazette says that Smoke and his flock landed in Ashwaubenon in the spring, and while the other turkeys have left, he’s stayed and made the place his bitch and its 17,000 citizens his subjects. He’s chased cars, fucked with people, and held up traffic. Authorities have been trying to nab him for a couple of months, but Smoke’s “ninja-like” moves have kept him from being taken in by the man. Police believe that Smoke has stayed in the area because the people of the town are feeding him. Smoke eats acorns, but also eats from bird feeders and food that is put out just for him. Smoke is a thrice-a-day visitor to the Dental Wellness Center where he eats from their bird feeder. The dentist there loves him and says he’s not mean or threatening.

Some people love Smoke and think of him as a sort of mascot who brings a sense of community to their village. But others aren’t amused by Smoke at all and would probably rather see him laid out on their Thanksgiving dinner table.

Others aren’t as pleased. His detractors think he’sa nuisance who blocks traffic, can be aggressive and is ruining their yards. Some people have posted pleas for residents to stop feeding the turkey.

For a while there were signs in the neighborhood telling people to stop feeding him.

Keith Panuc, for one, doesn’t mind the turkey but still wishes people would stop feeding him.

Police have no plans to move Smoke out of their town, and in fact, he’s been declared the unofficial mayor of Ashwaubenon. I’m sure the Village President loves that. A Facebook group has been devoted to Mayor Smoke as a place where people can share their sightings and sell Mayor Smoke merchandise (like t-shirts).

I wonder if the great Mayor Smoke knows he’s the mayor or not. If so, expect his first official declaration as mayor to be that on November 22nd, turkey murder and the consumption of turkey is illegal in the village of Ashwaubenon, and the official meat of the day is: HUUUUUMAN FLEEEESH!

Pic: Facebook

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