Ever since they broke up about a month ago, Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson have followed up their always-in-the-media relationship campaign with a mostly-in-the-media break up tour. They’ve been getting back to work, making jokes, covering tattoos, finding new love in animals, changing their numbers, releasing hugely popular songs about exes; it’s kind of been a production. The show ain’t over, folks. Ariana has moved into the next phase of her post-engagement renaissance: a dramatic haircut.
I put the words “dramatic change” in quotations because, what? I need someone to explain why everyone is so shocked and upset about this. Some of her fans were commenting such extreme reactions as: “OMGOGMGOG” and “Noooooooooooooooooooo”. What I want to know is: do these people really think that the 4-feet of perfectly smooth, split-end-free hair was all of Ari’s and part of her “dramatic change” didn’t involve her just taking out some weave? No wonder some people believe the Kardashians are “natural”.
Two hours later, Ariana was feeling nostalgic (millennials get nostalgic after half an hour) and she posted another picture to Insta of her clip-in ponytail having it’s full life:
So don’t worry you ponytail-loving freaks: Ariana will likely soon give herself intense hair migraines again. When she goes out on her Sweetener World Tour I highly doubt she won’t have that high-pony communicating with the Gods and picking up Wi-Fi signals all over America and the globe. You know what would be a dramatic change for Ari? Enunciating when she sings.