Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 11, 2018 / Posted by:

Today is Veterans Day in the U.S., the day that we thank, bow down to and honor the people who have served in our military and fought for our freedom. It’s also the day when many of us put the delete button on our keyboards to good use while banishing all the Veteran’s Day sale e-mails from our inbox. And speaking of using veterans and war to make that money…

Around the time of the Gulf War, Mattel probably thought to themselves, “Hmmm, how can we make money off of this?” So they came out with a limited-edition line of Barbie and Ken dolls called Stars & Stripes Barbie. The first one came out in 1991 and the last one was released in 1994. You can still get ’em on eBay, of course. There was Navy Barbie, Air Force Barbie & Ken, Marine Corps Barbie & Ken, Air Force Barbie & Ken, and Army Barbie & Ken.

Many people have bitched at the mouth about how Barbie doesn’t represent realistic beauty standards, but Stars & Stripes Barbie shat all over that line of thinking. Every woman who has served in the military woke up three hours early to go down to the JcPenney pop-up hair salon that’s on every base to have her hair blown out into another zip code, paint slathered onto her lips, and spider legs glued to her eyelids.

Actually, I take back the blowout. It’s obvious Stars & Strips Barbie didn’t bother with that. All she did is slap on a polyester lace front that instantly turned her into the love child of Lady Bunny and Calista Gingrich.

There’s a good chance that those of you who have served or are serving in the military are screaming at me like, “Michael, you dumb fuck, that’s not her hair. That is an actual military helmet made out of metal fibers!

Pics: eBay, Amazon, Amazon

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >