Open Post: Hosted By The High Priestess Of The Goth Roly Polies

November 9, 2018 / Posted by:

If Amelia Earhart crashed her plane onto an island ruled by a cult who considers Missy Elliott their God and they took her falling from the sky as a sign and declared her as their Pontiff, this is what she would look like.

While daring the clouds to rain on his glamour parade, Extra Miller (typo and it stays) served FACE! BEAUTY! FACE! and baggy ribbed condom (for all our pleasures) couture at the Paris premiere of Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald last night. Wikipedia tells me that Ezra Miller is Jewish, Dutch, and German, but bitch please. I don’t need to see his 23andMe results to tell you that he’s clearly 98% Tilda Swinton, 1.5% Grace Jones, and 0.5% Dalek.

You’re probably looking at Ezra’s look and thinking, “I didn’t know that Darth Vader designed a line of religious wear for Uniqulo.” But that corrugated butt plug dress-thing is by Moncler, the Urban Decay lipstick is from the shoe box filled with old make-up you keep from your high school Emo days, and the cheekbones are by Gillette. I just wish that Ezra’s look existed when I was kid (and was sold for 1/1000th the price at Kmart), because it’s the perfect thing to wear to the slumber party of a brat you can’t stand. Because 1: They can’t put itching powder in your sleeping bag. And 2: If those little assholes ever get on your last nerve, you can easily sashay away from the party in a quick second. No awkward packing!

Here’s more of Ezra serving bitchy caterpillar glamour among his drab-dressed castmates who really shouldn’t have even bothered to show up.

Pics: Wenn.com

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