Before (or while) you feel the blood in your arteries boil with nervousness while watching the results of the midterm elections, soothe your nerves, soul, and entire being with a video of Bingo The Otter luxuriating in a luxurious bath while a sumptuous waterfall of sparkling water trickles on his fur. Calgon, take yourself away, because your services are no longer needed now that we have soothing videos of an otter getting soothed by water.
Okay, honestly, slap me down four times and call me a shameless click-baiter, because this video isn’t totally soothing. It’s actually a video that Bingo’s human made of them making a DIY shower out of a plastic bottle. Bingo is the anti-Post Malone, because he loves a bath and loves a shower even more. So his human created a water-saving shower using just a plastic bottle and a screwdriver. This is the video that is totally going to put Kohler out of business!
I know, even though Bingo sometimes look like he’s making a, “Trick, I said you could piss on me a little just to try it out, not an entire golden shower stream,” face, he loves getting himself clean. Here’s Bingo loving the water while looking like me the time I made the mistake to do Ecstasy at a water park:
And another video of silly Bingo losing his otter mind over a stream of water. Oh, crazy Bingo, it’s just water. It’s not like it’s peen!
If only I had the capacity to love anything as much as Bingo loves water. Hell, if only Shia LaBeouf had the capacity to love water a tenth as much as Bingo does, we wouldn’t have a dirt cloud hanging over Los Angeles all the time.
And depending how the midterm results go tonight, Bingo could have a line of people at his bathtub oasis, asking, “Um, yeah, how do I get citizenship to this water island paradise governed by an otter?”