And all I can think of is poor, sexy Joshua Jackson probably sitting in the stands of an abandoned hockey rink in Canada somewhere, swilling a Labatt Blue in just a jockstrap, and wondering why the hell his hot blonde German ex just had a baby with greasy crossbow guy from the zombie show. Pacey – I’m available to you for consoling. Diane Kruger, 42, has given birth to her first baby with Norman Reedus, 49, according to UsWeekly and People. There are no pics yet, so it’s unknown whether or not Diane gave birth to the squintiest baby in history.
Diane sort of/kind of announced she was knocked up in May after there was pregnancy speculation due to all of the billowy outfits she was wearing at the Cannes Film Festival. She did this by posting a pic of herself on Instagram with the footprints emoji. This would usually be a joyous occasion, but the pic she used…well, take a look.
View this post on Instagram
That’s some “Shit, did I forget to take my birth control?” face right there. Props for not curating some bullshit happiness over it when she was obviously feeling some anxiety. She was probably wondering if the kid was going to come out looking like it just rolled out of a janky motel room bed after a three-day bender. Look, Norm’s not known for looking lively!
There’s no details as to the sex, where, when how, was the placenta saved for consuming later. This is Diane’s first child, and Norman’s second. He’s got a 19-year-old son, Mingus Lucien, from a five-year-relationship with supermodel Helena Christensen.
Diane was with Joshua Jackson of Dawson’s Creek fame from 2006 to 2016 and wow, she could have had Pacey’s baby. This kid’s going to watch old reruns of The Affair someday and think – that hot piece of ass could have been my dad? Actually, that would probably be an odd thing for a child to think about their dad. Scratch that.